THE BMW bites into the track at the Monticello Motor Club, hurtling down the straights and exploding out of every tricky rain-dampened corner.
The scene is the Cadillac CTS-V Challenge, where a handful of journalists and private car owners have been invited to compete against Robert A. Lutz, the irrepressible 77-year-old General Motors vice chairman, and his mighty 556-horsepower CTS-V sport sedan.
But the Bimmer I’m driving in the rehearsal laps is a rather unlikely competitor for the CTS-V. It is neither the M3 high-performance coupe nor the M5 über-sedan, but the X6 M, a 5,300-pound battering ram that looks like what Batman would drive, if Batman drove a crossover S.U.V.
Verily, the X6 M is the world’s fastest crossover, an awards category you won’t find at a Sierra Club fund-raiser. From the Infiniti FX50 to the Porsche Cayenne Turbo S, the BMW tops them all, whether the criteria are pure speed or handling control.
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As it turned out, the night before the challenge, BMW got cold feet about entering the X6 M, so I had to drive the CTS-V instead. But BMW need not have worried: the X6 M wouldn’t have beaten the quickest CTS-V drivers, but its effortless below-three-minute lap times proved it would have blown people’s minds and made Bavaria proud.
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Spectators asked to peer under the hood; the co-owner of the track, Ari Straus (who drives in the Grand-Am road racing series), was intrigued enough to request wheel time. He instantly ripped off elegant laps that spotlighted the BMW’s torque-vectoring all-wheel-drive system.
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To some, the X6 M may seem a design achievement on par with Alexander McQueen’s 10-inch stiletto heels: Shocking, titillating — but still a cruel male fantasy of dubious utility.
The difference? You can dance in this BMW.
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Figuring that some owners would be unfulfilled by the 400 horses in the standard X6 xDrive 50i, BMW has girded that car’s 4.4-liter V-8 with a pair of expensive twin-scroll turbochargers — cleverly nestled in the valley between the engine’s two banks of cylinders — along with new pistons and cylinder heads and a host of other improvements. The result is 555 horsepower and 500 pound-feet of torque, with peak torque on tap from a low 1,500 r.p.m. up to 5,650.