THE BMW bites into the track at the Monticello Motor Club, hurtling down the straights and exploding out of every tricky rain-dampened corner.
The scene is the Cadillac CTS-V Challenge, where a handful of journalists and private car owners have been invited to compete against Robert A. Lutz, the irrepressible 77-year-old General Motors vice chairman, and his mighty 556-horsepower CTS-V sport sedan.
But the Bimmer I’m driving in the rehearsal laps is a rather unlikely competitor for the CTS-V. It is neither the M3 high-performance coupe nor the M5 über-sedan, but the X6 M, a 5,300-pound battering ram that looks like what Batman would drive, if Batman drove a crossover S.U.V.
Verily, the X6 M is the world’s fastest crossover, an awards category you won’t find at a Sierra Club fund-raiser. From the Infiniti FX50 to the Porsche Cayenne Turbo S, the BMW tops them all, whether the criteria are pure speed or handling control.
As it turned out, the night before the challenge, BMW got cold feet about entering the X6 M, so I had to drive the CTS-V instead. But BMW need not have worried: the X6 M wouldn’t have beaten the quickest CTS-V drivers, but its effortless below-three-minute lap times proved it would have blown people’s minds and made Bavaria proud.
Spectators asked to peer under the hood; the co-owner of the track, Ari Straus (who drives in the Grand-Am road racing series), was intrigued enough to request wheel time. He instantly ripped off elegant laps that spotlighted the BMW’s torque-vectoring all-wheel-drive system.
To some, the X6 M may seem a design achievement on par with Alexander McQueen’s 10-inch stiletto heels: Shocking, titillating — but still a cruel male fantasy of dubious utility.
The difference? You can dance in this BMW.
Figuring that some owners would be unfulfilled by the 400 horses in the standard X6 xDrive 50i, BMW has girded that car’s 4.4-liter V-8 with a pair of expensive twin-scroll turbochargers — cleverly nestled in the valley between the engine’s two banks of cylinders — along with new pistons and cylinder heads and a host of other improvements. The result is 555 horsepower and 500 pound-feet of torque, with peak torque on tap from a low 1,500 r.p.m. up to 5,650.